


My Everything

by kjonginexo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Broken Up, M/M, but this is a kaibaek angst one shot, mentions of sehun and chanyeol, sry chanyeol, the end game is sekai, there's literally no fluff in this at all except for sekai mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 19:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16501505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjonginexo/pseuds/kjonginexo
Summary: Baekhyun wanted to talk to Jongin about their relationship and where he went wrong, but it didn't go as he planned.





	My Everything

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: kaihunnies

This coffee shop was a placeholder for too many memories for Baekhyun about Jongin. He didn’t think he’d be sitting here again since their breakup seven months ago, but here he sat with a cup of black coffee and a green tea latte for the chair across from him. He’s never been the one to be early, always had been the one to rush in late with an excuse on the tip of his tongue, never had to be the one who waited in hopes that Jongin would show. Jongin was always the one who was early, the one who always waited almost an hour for Baekhyun to arrive, and the one who always accepted the excuse with a smile even if the smiles throughout time changed from genuine ones to false ones.

Baekhyun knew he was too early and too hopeful for Jongin to show up, he knew the younger said he would try to come by to talk about whatever it is Baekhyun wanted to talk about but, Jongin didn’t hold an obligation to him anymore. He definitely didn’t want to pretend like he still knew him like he used to when they dated because in reality, he didn’t bother to know him after a while. He still doesn’t know when that stopped, or why, and why he did what he did to him. Baekhyun let out a shaky sigh, taking a sip of the coffee until the bell to the coffee shop chimed. He turned his head to see Jongin stepping in, always just on time, and always so handsome. 

Jongin always had an elegant look to him, always so classically handsome, it always made Baekhyun’s heart skip a beat and his palms sweat a little bit. His hair wasn’t the same chestnut brown it was when they broke up but back to his natural black that flopped against his forehead slightly covering his eyebrows. He had a sleepy pout on his lips, body buried in a green bomber jacket that Baekhyun never recalled him wearing before and a black shirt underneath, light denim skinny jeans. He always looked so handsome, Baekhyun felt his heart clench a bit in his chest, and it took Jongin a few moments to find him before walking over to their table, the table that they used to always sit at. 

“Of course you’d choose to sit here,” Jongin’s honey toned voice poured out, his voice was never harsh, always so soft and gentle. Baekhyun felt himself shocked with nerves though at the state of hearing his voice regardless that it felt like Jongin had just yelled at him, but instead he covered it with a nervous laugh. “Felt kind of weird to sit anywhere else,” his voice was slightly shaky as Jongin sat down, looking down at the drink and gave sort of a sad smile down into it. 

He didn’t expect himself to get this far, for Jongin to show up and for Jongin to not completely tell him to leave his life despite every horrible thing he had done, Baekhyun didn’t know what to do next. Baekhyun didn’t know what to do in general, his brain was scattered with a million thoughts and always wanted to tackle everything at the same time. Jongin always leveled him out, brought him back to earth and got him to focus on the important things in front of him, mapped out. He supposes nothing has changed since Jongin cleared his mind with “so what did you want to talk about?” to redirect him back to why he was here.

Baekhyun’s fingers fidgeted against the glass of the cup, lips parted as his tongue moved to wet them. “I wanted to talk about what happened and… say sorry. I didn’t say sorry when we fought, or any time after and I needed to make that right,” Baekhyun said quietly. Jongin looked a little stoic for a second, Baekhyun knew Jongin had to know he wanted to talk about their relationship instead of just acting like old friends who were trying to catch up. The seven month fallout wasn’t a distancing of friends, it was a rupture of a couple. “I don’t need an apology for everything, I don’t need an apology for the relationship itself because there were so many nice parts. What I do need is an explanation as for why you lost interest in me and put me as something secondary that didn’t matter, and why you cheated on me with Chanyeol, Baekhyun.”

The words felt harsher now than before despite his tone never changing. Jongin didn’t even show anger, just the same slight sadness to be sitting here in the first place. He can dig into his memories and pull out all the times when he had saw that smile but brushed it off instead of trying to make it better. It haunts him often when he thinks about everything he shrugged off for the fact that he didn’t want to deal with it, or accept that something was his fault, or that he just didn’t care anymore. Chanyeol however, that was something that he would forever regret and the name itself felt like a hot blade sinking into his heart. 

Chanyeol was something that came from nowhere, and Baekhyun wouldn’t ever blame Chanyeol for anything either considering it was him. It was him who hid the fact that he had a boyfriend waiting for him at home to come home, it was him who lied to Chanyeol and Jongin both, it was him who used Chanyeol and hurt Jongin. Chanyeol came like a tornado, messy and uncoordinated into Baekhyun’s life with smooth flirtatious comments that Baekhyun never turned down. He liked the attention, and at the time, he didn’t notice how hard Jongin was trying to keep him interested in him, to keep him loving him. 

Baekhyun knew the spark wasn’t missing or gone, because now here he sat in front of Jongin and despite the situation he felt that same spark he always felt. Jongin’s his first love, his first boyfriend, first man he had ever seriously committed with and two years slipped down the drain for a cute accountant at his job and neglect. He didn’t have words as he watched Jongin who let out a little scoff, “so it’s the same then? You still have nothing to say?”

For the first time, the tone was harsh and it snapped Baekhyun back to reality as he gripped at his wrist to keep him from leaving. “No, I do have something to say I just, I just zoned out.” He took a little breath now, letting go of Jongin’s wrist once it looked like he wasn’t going to bolt out the door for another seven months for Baekhyun to get his shit together. “I don’t know what was going through my mind? I guess I liked the attention he gave me, and I didn’t even notice you trying so hard to keep me there, giving me the same attention. I don’t know… I don’t know what happened to me?” He let out a dry laugh as his eyes started to sting, shaking his head running a hand through his hair, “It’s like I just got bored or used to you always being there and I slipped up on being a boyfriend and found attention from someone new, and didn’t even think about you. But I did think about you, and how much I loved you, but I sat here for months just looking back at everything when it all started to fall apart and there was so much I ignored. I’m… I’m so sorry Jongin.”

Jongin’s jaw was clenched, and Baekhyun knew it wasn’t in a good way either because he had his head tilt back as he let out a sigh from his nostrils. “So it really was because you were bored of me like I said that night?” Baekhyun felt pathetically small then as he stared down at the table, “I wasn’t bored of you, I just started to neglect you and then that neglect turned into cheating… it was like I got careless in loving you.” Jongin finally looked at him, biting on his bottom lip as he let out a shaky sigh. “Baekhyun you must have not really loved me to neglect me like that and cheat on me, lie about not being with me, everything.” Baekhyun wiped at his eye before the cheek had the opportunity to fall. “I did love you, I just fucked up so bad. I still… that’s not important, I just. You didn’t do anything wrong, Jongin.” 

It looked like a weight lifted from Jongin’s shoulders, a sniffle fell from his lips as a dry laugh did as well. He shook his head, black hair shaking from side to side before looking back up at him. “I don’t know why I needed to hear you say that to feel better about us breaking up but I did, and do you know how shitty that makes me feel? I gave you so much of me for two years and more before we even dated, and yet when it was you who fucked everything up and wouldn’t meet me halfway and decided to fuck someone else, it was me who thought I did something wrong.” Baekhyun winced at his words, nodding as he let out a shaky sigh, “I didn’t mean for you to think it was you who did something wrong, I knew the whole time it was me I just didn’t want to admit it because hurting you kills me.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, and it wasn’t until Jongin let out a soft sigh that sounded so tired. “What’s the point of this, Baekhyun?” The point, the reason why Baekhyun had even decided to call Jongin here and it was for seven months of pining and missing someone he hurt, who he still loved for a chance to make everything right and fix it. “I miss you… I wanted to try to make everything right to try again. Don’t you miss me?” Jongin looked at him with a hard look, pursing his lips and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m going to do what you didn’t do when Chanyeol hit on you all those months ago. Baekhyun, I have a boyfriend.” His heart shattered, and he realized now that the reason he hadn’t ever seen Jongin in a bomber jacket is because that wasn’t his, it’s his boyfriends. 

His mouth felt dry and he felt incredibly stupid, of course Jongin would’ve had a boyfriend, and he nodded quickly with a tight smile. “Oh? Do you?” Jongin nodded, and Baekhyun saw that smile that once was saved for him. “It’s new… two months. His name is Sehun, he’s so wonderful to me.” Baekhyun could tell just in the way he talked about him, how his face seemed to glow and how he looked so happy just to be talking about him, that little smitten smile that Baekhyun once would tag as his own. “Ah, happy for you.” Jongin nodded with the same smile and another silence took over the table until Jongin’s fingers gripped at Baekhyun’s hands. 

“Despite everything you put me through, I forgive you. Baekhyun, you’re my first love and part of me will always love you and thank you for all the good things we went through but, I need to move on from you. Sehun knows how I’ll always love you, but he’s helping me move on and he takes care of me, and makes me happy. We both can be happy, just not with each other okay?” Baekhyun couldn’t muster out any words as he just nodded, he watched Jongin smile at him sympathetically before rising from the table. “I have to go, he made dinner tonight and he followed a recipe, he’s not the best cook but he tries his best… I’ll see you around Baekhyun.” 

Baekhyun watched him walk out of the coffee shop, the green tea latte was left abandoned on the table and he swallowed a bit thickly at the sight of it. That was it, that was all that left from Jongin, his untouched green tea latte. Baekhyun didn’t know Jongin was his everything until he was gone, and he’s his everything. He didn’t know how to cope without him, or how to move onto someone new. No one could’ve ever loved him the same way, and no one could’ve ever given him the world like Jongin tried to do and instead, he ruined every semblance of a chance they could’ve had to be together forever. Baekhyun sat alone in the coffee shop now as all the memories hit him at full force of everything he ruined, not stopping the tear from hitting the wooden table just next to his coffee.

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to write angst


End file.
